The bigger they come...the more we need Neosporin

What goes up must come down, and the bigger they come the harder they fall. If you looked up both of these in the dictionary or on the web (as you young whippersnappers do nowadays), I'm pretty sure you would read about Newton and gravity, some musical artist named Jimmy Cliff, and then you would see a picture of my last relationship. So the answer to my previous post is that it was a big crash and burn, if you haven't caught on. But just because my big chance didn't end in one of those crazy love stories doesn't mean it's not a possibility...no hope lost, just a beat up heart that will heal in time. I'm still gonna try to keep my doors open to new things because one fail doesn't equate that all fail.
That being said, now I know why my younger self chose to never date anyone with kids...when the relationship goes south not only do I have one bandaid to pull off to let my would heal, I now have two. I masked my no kid rule as I didn't want to deal with the baby mama drama, which is of course true, but I found out that wasn't the most prominent reason...it was because I love kids and it hurts to have to let them go. They are so full of life and energy and remind us of what it is like to live with hope and curiosity, before all our walls are up that we build as adults. It especially breaks my heart when you know that you are having a positive affect in their lives. Through childhood we create the building blocks of who we are as adults...to be a part of that in someone's life is not something I take lightly. And I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to leave a job incomplete.
Much to my surprise, I'm not 100% sure which bandaid hurts less...you can call a guy a jerk, get angry, say he's selfish, or that he just wasn't what you thought he was and you can get your closure (coined from and explained in that all too famous Friends episode) and move on...but when a kid's done nothing wrong and ends up being a casualty to an adult's poor decisions...I think that's a tougher wound to heal.
What I'm really trying to say and what I believe is the most important thing we can learn from all this is: Buying a puppy is the best Neosporin in the world. They are always happy to see you. Not to mention they keep you busy, and your mind away from thinking about all the things we shouldn't be pining over (cuz let's face it...sometimes we will never understand why things happen or people do what they do without the proper facts or full picture). Though some say they are mere animals, they can sense emotion, know when you need a good snuggle, are always ready to hang out, are loyal to the end, understand give and take, and love in it's purest form. All natural instincts, that in my opinion, many of us humans have forgotten and have become buried within our adult walls. Anyway...everyone say hello to Tucker (my Neosporin)...my fast track to healed wounds and a happy heart.

Thankful, I Am

Swells, the rising, the falling, and the rising back up again. The changing of seasons, aka the mountains and the valleys, without which we could never truly appreciate what we have, nor be pressed to strive for what we don't have. Family, blood and sometimes more importantly the one's we get to choose...each leaves their footprints in my heart...every one different in their own way leaving their own mark...sometimes it's a long walk, and sometimes it's a short one and sometimes the gait changes entirely. Forgiveness, to release us from carrying burdens with us in whatever form or way they come, enabling us the choice to be truly free. Caring, whether it comes in the physical of a warm embrace, or a need being met, or it comes in the intangible of just being available, or knowing what to say or when to be silent and listen. Free will, the ability to choose our path...sometimes it is all to often forgotten that we ourselves hold the power to change ourselves and the world around us. Our insides...mind, will, and emotions which can be very misleading and tumultuous at times yet without, we would never experience anything real or be able to grasp the lessons we so desperately need to learn. Love, the glue that holds my broken pieces together turning it into a beautiful work of art. Thankful, I am.

Spring Cleaning for the Dating Scene

Why are there love stories? I'm not talking about the made up movie ones...I'm talking about the real life ones. The kinds that are against all odds...where people take chances that the majority of the world wouldn't take and it ends up in their favor. There's supposed to be a logical world of dating. Step 1: you meet. Step 2: you hang out and get to know one another. Step 3: you decide whether the information you've gathered is favorable or not to progress further. Should you make it past step 3 with a yes then comes the serious talk, meeting of the family/friends, moving in, marriage, babies, and all that mess. But what about the relationships that don't follow that route? Is there such a thing as fate or divine intervention?
All my life I've been following a pattern to dating. Through my experiences and various friend's experiences I've set rules to my dating scene. Now I'm not trying to say that one shouldn't have certain rules...I definitely believe each and every person should know what they want and seek to find it. But I'm saying, after years of having the same rules, sometimes you need to stop and re-evaluate them. There are certain things a person should or shouldn't allow in their lives for sure but it all depends on the person and their ability to deal with certain situations. And it all stems from what we have experienced, been taught, and ultimately believe.
In having a conversation recently I was reminded of the logical pattern of dating. The person I was speaking with said something along the lines that certain people depending on their past were not meant for me. I, of course, disagreed knowing I'm not a perfect person and could have just as easily been in a number of bad situations that by the grace of God I've mostly avoided. And then it dawned on me...that my pattern I've been following was scientifically based on perfect people in a perfect world. The reality is that we are imperfect people in an imperfect world and it's no wonder my relationships have never worked out. I never had the correct equation because the variables available didn't fit into it. So upon this realization I completely revamped my dating equation and opened it up to allow taking chances and to go where my gut leads. So back to the question, what happens when you take a chance and do things cuz you feel you should but it's in a seemingly illogical order? You could crash and burn or...you might get one of those crazy love stories. I think the possibility of the latter is worth the risk.

Per Your Perspective

At what point does a conversation turn into an argument? What's the line where actions speak louder than words? Why can two different people in one situation see things in completely opposite ways? How is it that one simple new fact can change the way you see a person? These are the questions I ask when life happens. And in essence this is the heart beat to life...questioning and finding the answers. To know a man of power as stereotypical...until you see him in another light when you realize he's a dad who kneels and prays every night before he goes to bed. To be in the midst of a fight and wanting to inflict pain be it emotional or physical because you were hurt but then realizing that the other person is only acting out of their own hurt and thus understanding their position and realizing it's not always about you. To speak your opinion not just to be heard or to win someone over but to allow the other person their opinion and time on the floor...realizing that a conversation involves two sides and that requires listening and response...to learn. Perspective is just that...a point of view...it's changeable. Sometimes it takes a bit of additional knowledge, sometimes it takes questions and probing, sometimes it takes us moving to a different vantage point, sometimes it takes some steps in another persons shoes...any and many things can change a perspective. We just need to realize that our perspective is not the only valid one. I guess all this is meant just to remind ourselves that when we are in the midst of something or we see someone in a certain way remember that that is the way we see them/it with the information at hand and that it can change at any moment if we are open enough to seek and allow other perspectives in. Also to remind ourselves that when someone is opposing us, that we don't need to take it to heart and hold a grudge because if we do then we never allow the space and freedom for the other person's perspective to change as well.