Love, Logic, and the Like

Where is the balance between love and logic in relation to finding that special person? For so many years I was this person...trying desperately to control my emotions...I used logic for everything. Sure I didn't have a problem being in love with a couple people throughout my life, but never did I ever think they were the one. Even if they were I would have never found out because of two reasons...because I couldn't love myself (which is conclusion after a long and detailed set of reasons why), and because I completely had thrown away my feelings and emotions after so many years of relying on logic. Then through a series of unfortunate circumstances I lost my best friend in a sense. Someone I could always count on, someone that understood me, someone I would have in an instant gave my life for, someone I put all my hope and faith in. And then my world I had built everything on came crashing down. Nothing made me feel better...I couldn't even feel anything anymore. Then someone pointed out to me that emotions are not something to hide, and that they are there for a reason...many reasons in fact (indicators, as a release, etc.). And I realized that through my life's path of being so logical and prepared for most anything that I had also lost all my feelings trying to save myself and protect my heart. So after this realization I decided to start feeling. If I was angry, sad, upset, happy, etc I was gonna let it run it's course and realize that everything is just a season. A couple years later and this all in full practice, I was on my way to living my life not worried about the who's and when's and bumped into my first and thus far only true love. I was a whole person and gave my heart up in it's fullest for the first time romantically ever. The only problem was he was where I was before I chose to start feeling again and I couldn't make him see that (which is how it always goes...you rarely ever take the advice from the one's that care about you most especially when you are invested in the other person...we gotta figure it out on our own). Bottom line is we weren't on the same page and could not see eye to eye until that happened. If I had sucked it up we might still be together...but the thoughts of all the phone calls from unhappily married friends, and the images from my parents lives played back, and I did not want to be stuck in a relationship knowing it could be better. So I chose to let go of what was in my hand for something that I knew could be better. I let love go...because it takes more than just that to make a relationship work. There were an onslaught of emotions for many months to follow...but I let it run it's course...and in a strange way by doing this I eventually healed. And now on the other side of that fence it's no mistaking that love is a terrible thing to have to give up. (I'd like to take this moment and apologize to all those I've coldly moved on from...I would never wish that pain on anyone). Cuz what I didn't realize is when you love fully you literally give your heart away...so if it doesn't work out, you never truly feel like yourself. It's almost like you can never be the same person again. You have to reinvent who you are. Would I change my decision? Never. Because all this is the epitome of the point I have been trying to reach...having the balance between love, and logic is the only way to be a healthy person. And you have to have something healthy to begin with in order to be able to give the forever love a chance.