Reflections From Last Night

Warning: longest post ever.
Disclaimer: Definitely a good read for your lunch break. I would never suggest you take a 1/2 hr. from your paid work day to read, comment, and be unproductive. (Though of course that is exactly what I was doing while writing this post at work)
Onto the madness I call Reflections from Last Night.
 -German food though made primarily to give you energy to work out in the fields (thanks Frank) does not soak up all the alcohol you can consume as once thought.
 -I cannot speak German. In fact, if I went to Germany they would probably stone me on their wall for butchering their language and making up words that end in "itzel".
-Germans like dolls...the creepier the better. If they resemble real children they will put them in a high chair and leave them in the bathroom stall to stare at you...much like they do to their real children.
-Don't ever promise to pick up a friend for work on time and then proceed to go drinking till 1:30 in the morning. Always a bad idea. Thank God I had enough forethought to know I was drinking and would forget the entire conversation I had with said friend, and reminded Siri to remind me to pick up her up in the morning.
-I apparently was way less sober than originally thought last night because I woke up this morning, thought it was Saturday and proceeded to reset my alarm for later without thinking twice and went back to bed. Now if anyone really knows me, they know I am not a snoozer and leave myself just enough time to wake up, shower, and go...in fact, I put my alarm on the other side of the room, so I have to physically get up to shut it off for the sole fact that I won't accidentally snooze...so it's not even fathomable why I would zombie walk over to shut off my alarm, reset it, and commence sleeping. Thanking Sio right now for her random 7:35am call with a story which woke me up enough to realize that it was actually a work day and I could not sleep in. -I now realize why God made me short. Because apparently I have a habit of picking up people that are shorter than me and using them to aide me in doing things...like kicking open a bathroom door. If I were taller and the percentage of people that were shorter than me was increased, I might be in jail for things like midget tossing, or using someone as my own personal extension ladder to dust the fan blades, get that cup from the top shelf, or wipe the unreachable top of the window...and I could see at least one of the above going horribly wrong and ending in death for said short person.
-Strawberry rhubarb muffins taste just as good if not better the next morning after they sit in your car (which was pointed out to smell like booze by earlier stated friend that needed to be picked up for work) all night. -The accent I revert to when texting intoxicated is Australian, love.
 -I have done the research and confirmed it this morning that I can eat 1/2 a box of sugar cereal in one sitting, which is why I don't ever buy them...and this is hereditary as my father used to eat his cereal out of pots while sitting on the couch...no I'm not kidding.
This concludes my Reflections from Last Night. Thanks to all that made this possible.