Back to Basics: Sorting Shapes

A few months back I was hanging out with two very good friends of mine and their adorable daughter. The focus of their daughters evening was shape sorting. You know...that octagonal yellow toy in which you have to stuff all the colored shapes into the yellow ball by finding the right shaped cut out. Unfortunately, her parents' focus of the day was looking for the one missing red triangle shape hopefully lost in the house somewhere...but I'm getting too far ahead of myself. We will come back to that point later.

So I was thinking a lot about love (surprise surprise) and how to describe it this morning on my drive into work and that shape toy came to mind. I feel like we, humans, all have a love shaped cut out. Some people find that true, fits perfectly, kind of love.  Others find that piece that fits the space but does not cover all areas, and thus never experience its full potential. Yet others try to jam whatever piece they find in a space that it does not go and in which it does not fit at all. Can I just quickly interject, "When it doesn't pop into the ball like it's supposed to, remember this phrase...stop, drop, and try another!"  I wish I could say I haven't done the latter an unending amount of times when it comes to relationships, but I have. I assume you, the reader, have also done this at least once as well if you are still reading this post. Bottom line is, don't feel bad. The fact is, you just don't know any better until you find that piece that fits perfectly. All of us that have been that piece that doesn't fit, also need to remember that too. Most of the time, it really isn't you. It is them. You are the piece you were made to be on purpose. Be you. You will find your home eventually and be glad you waited for the best. 

Back on topic...So we've at one point been in at least one, more, or all of these scenarios. When you are first starting this shape sorter love game, you have no idea what shapes are called, or their color, or how this whole thing is supposed to work. We are given vague descriptions like "when you know, you know" or "the ball (heart) wants what the ball wants". Great! Yeah that's really helpful. I'll just fumble around until it makes sense...or never does.  In all seriousness though, the most important thing you can do is just START. Everything is a fail until you get it, so don't fear failure as its an everyday occurrence we all share. Sometimes you get lucky and find the piece that fits on the first try. More likely, it takes many tries to get the hang of the game or even worse, find out the piece you need is not in front of you at all...kind of like my friends search for the one missing shape around the house. 

I want to mention here, my friends had already played this game (found love) and knew what piece was missing and that they had to go on a search...which leads me to another interesting point in life. Just like my friends' daughter needed her parents help to find the missing piece to complete her puzzle, we as adults need to realize we should seek help from those who have been there and done it already as well. There should be a line of young people at nursing homes waiting to talk to old married couples that have stood the test of time. How often do we think we found IT but find out later on down the line that here we are again, trying to fit an incorrect shape in a space it was not made for? We need help. 

A final thought on this whole analogy. When we don't have the right piece to fit the space, just like when you don't have the right tool for the job, yet we continue to try and make it work, there is a huge potential for damage if we continue. This damage can not only happen to the ball, or the shape, but even to those around us. Have you ever had that yellow ball unexpectedly half open without warning and try to eat your hand as a child? Was it usually when you were not using it as intended? Oh come on! Was it just me that was frequently attacked by the shape sorter? Ok ok. Point made. Anyway, we have to keep in mind that this life, especially when speaking of love, is a dangerous place, and that our actions not only hurt us or those directly involved, but other innocent bystanders too. So shape sort wisely my friends. 

Wrapping this up...best of luck all! I hope you find the piece that fits. I'm off to do some more puzzling shape sorting practice of my own. 

Shower Realization The Final Frontier (I swear I'm not a Star Trek fan)

Anyone that has been with me since the beginning of this blog knows about my epiphany moments in the shower. (If not, see posts titled Shower Realization Part 1 and Part Deux). It's been quite some time since I had anything worthy of writing down come out of my daily shower thoughts, but today I felt the need to share this quick connection I made in my head with you all.

Somewhere in-between washing my hair and shaving, I started thinking about relationships, friendships in particular. I must admit this whole thing started off kind of haughty. (No not naughty. Haughty! Minds out of the gutters please!) When I meet new people I treat them like I've known them an entire lifetime. I'll invite them to live life with me on all levels. Some people don't know what to do with this, some people take advantage, some people jump on your train, and even others find this frightening. Most people would agree the smart approach would be for me to be more guarded towards who I let in as opposed to immediately inviting these strangers I come across into my life...but I don't always live life in the norm if you haven't concluded yet. If you do the same thing you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten is my motto.  In any sense it got me thinking that I must be doing something right and it was evident when I thought back to a couple weeks ago and a close friend commented that I was a "gold mine in friendship" to someone we had just met. As in, new people have no idea how lucky they are to come across a friend like me. (Like I said this whole thing started off very arrogant in my head I'm ashamed to admit.) Apparently people don't expect to run across true friendship, weather the storm, true blue kind of people anymore. Anyway, coming down off my ego trip, I shook my head and reassessed like I was scolding myself for entertaining such ridiculous thoughts. I started thinking not of how lucky they were to have met me, but instead how lucky I was to have their friendship. That felt much better. Then this post ensued.

I contemplated about how different this world would look if we realized that friendships and relationships are a privilege, not a right. I'm sure you have heard this statement used if you've ever lost your license to your own stupidity. You think its a right until it's taken away and quickly realize it was a privilege all along. That happens many times in relationships too. We usually realize what we have a little too late and by the time we figure it out, the damage has already been done. I challenge you to take a look at your own relationships with me, especially your marriage/significant other if you have one. Maybe just maybe if we perceive them in the light of it being a privilege things will change. In doing so, I think we will begin to build a sense of appreciation rather than entitlement. Maybe we wouldn't live in a world where people are shocked to meet a truthful and genuine person.

Remember to whom much is given, much is required. If we start looking at what we have as "much" and a blessing, maybe we would be more inclined to take better care of it as is "required". If we set higher standards of character for ourselves, we can in hopes request the same from others. 

I'll end with this C.S. Lewis quote as I think it ties this all together: "It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak...like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. WE ARE FAR TOO EASILY PLEASED."