Imperfections...we've all got them. My imperfections are many, but to name a few I've always been impatient, impulsive, and right. Ok that last one was kind of a joke..kind of. The impatience one is a biggie for me though. It's made me very independent, and self reliant to a fault. On the off chance that I do ask for help, it's only after I've analyzed, tried to fix, and messed everything up worse than when it began, trying every route to doing so, leaving me mentally and sometimes physically exhausted. My impatience sometimes gets me in a little bit of trouble in the men department as well...talk about fickle creatures...they just don't make men the same as they used to. Anyway, as I'm sure I've said in prior posts, there needs to be a balance to everything. Sometimes you gotta be a giver and sometimes you have to be a taker. It's just the way the world was meant to work. So I started thinking about all this, as I always do. The question I kept coming back to is, if we are performing all our own miracles, where does that leave room for God to do His? (His are always better and less exhausting by the way). So in an attempt to fix my little imbalance, I decided it would be a good idea to phone in a little prayer request to God. The prayer went something like this....
"Dear God, I know you love me and you have like 87 angels assigned to protect and help me because of all the stupid things I do and get myself into, but I really think that due to the economy we should free up a few of my angels for other people. Don't worry...I have an idea on how we can make this work. All you gotta do is pass by the Patience Station up there in your heavenly shopping mall, pick up a box of it, and send it on down to me. You see, with more patience I would be much more apt to keep out of troublesome situations, using less angel work force. Also, if you could just wipe out the entire male race that would really be a big help with me keeping on the straight and narrow too. If that can't happen, how about we make a deal? With whomever I meet, like, and start to date, if you know they aren't the right one for me, make them disappear. Preferably not in mob mafia style, but it's acceptable if that is the only way. Cuz ain't nobody got time fo' that! (If you didn't see the Youtube video of that lady you should Google it). Amen"
Little did I know that those were the two toughest requests I have ever uttered. It's a lot different than the normal "help me find my keys", and "thanks for my grub" prayers I shoot up to him daily. If anyone knows the relationship me and the man upstairs have, nothing ever comes easy, at least on my end. Come to think of it, He's probably having a ball watching me do all the dancing while he's shooting. Truth be told, He doesn't have a grab bag of personality traits that are waiting to be sent on down and downloaded into our brains. (Well maybe he does, but they certainly aren't labeled to me!) He knows how thick skulled I am and that I'm a hands on kinda girl seeking challenges with adventure running through her veins. He knows He has to take me through some uncharted territory on a journey through some backwoods country where I learn first hand how to get what I am looking for, otherwise the lesson just isn't gonna stick.
What I found out in my little prayer experiment is that the answer is always "wait" when you mistakenly ask God for things like patience. Believe me, He will give you some instances where you have no other path other than to wait. Though it certainly does make for some interesting stories, like having
men running towards you at full relationship speed, then disappearing
off the face of the planet...(it's really becoming like a bugs hitting your windshield sort of phenomenon with these guys and at this point I'm just sitting back and marveling at the artwork)...or buying tires, then getting a flat less
than one month shy of the warranty expiring, and calling the tire place
to find out that the only guy that can make that decision is on
vacation, or even as simple as ALWAYS picking the checkout line where someone has a price issue. If anyone shares the impatience gene with me, you know that the biggest
bomb you can drop on people like us is the words "wait", "maybe" or the
all so dreaded no response at all. Just writing them makes me cringe.
It's true, some days I find myself wanting to take back my challenge myself to grow prayers, but deep down I know it's gotta get dealt with someday...and sooner is always better than later for impatient people. It's the master it before it masters you sort of mentality. I'm not sure how long this journey is going to take to complete, but at least I know I'm getting one step closer to the finish line every sunrise and it'll be worth it in the end. Besides, I really should stop hoarding all my angels to myself and start sharing them with the rest of you folks. After all, they've got a lot of practice. :)
